Looking back

I am not too sure what has been going on with me lately. I have found myself looking back over the past year or 2 and wanting to reconnect or "set the story straight" with a lot of people that have come into my life and left. My big issue is getting over the hurdle of going from "watching from afar" to "talking". I watch their blogs, see their names come up on AIM and all but just cant get myself to talk. Not all of my relationships ended the way that I have wanted them too. I dont think that many of them do for all of us not just me. I really hate it when someone just assumes they know everything. I know quite well that there are 2 sides to every story. I have enough on 1 set of friends that I could destroy their marriage if I wanted too but I am not about doing that. I have a hard time with people thinking something is my fault. I need to build up my self confindence and get over that hump. I just want people to hear my side of the story. I am not about ruining someone's life. I have had enough ups and downs in my life I know how they can be. I am not the only one... I dont feel the need to tell everyone my premi daughters story. She was a premi end of story. I dont feel the need to tell everyone how traumatic my second delivery was either. That is between me and my family. I dont feel the need to tell everyone all my cancer battle, diabetes, broken neck or any of the other storys that have made me into the person that I am today. I support a lot of causes, I climbed the carew tower in Cincinnati, OH for the American Lung Association to help stop lung disease. I take part in the Polar Bear Plunge for the Special Olympics but I dont feel the need to have that all take over my life. We all have to work with our kids in special ways. There were premi's born before my little girls and there will be after. It is a part of life. We can work on advancing medical knowledge but there are some things that can not be prevented. Ok...enough... I had to vent.... Stressful day!!!